A Fan of Fangirl (Re-Post)
ORIGINALLY WRITTEN AUGUST 2018
*WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD*
I'm going to be honest with you guys. I'm a fanfic writer. I love my fanfiction. And I consider myself very good at it. So I knew that I would like at least some of Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell.
I had first heard about this book through BookTube. So many people were talking about it. I knew that I had to give it a try, especially when I caved and bought Carry On during my last Barnes&Noble run. I knew that the two books were technically independent from each other, but I also knew that I would understand the Simon Snow universe a whole lot more if I read the book that inspired it first.
So I picked up Fangirl at 2:30 pm on this fine Monday. It was a bit of a whim, because I had just finished The Dream Thieves by Maggie Stiefvater, but I didn't really want to jump straight into Blue Lily, Lily Blue. And none of the other books on my massive TBR for this month sounded particularly interesting to me. I wanted mush. I wanted real. I wanted Fangirl.
And, wow.
I finished it in seven hours.
Like I said, I'm a fellow fanfiction writer. I completely understand how it can consume your life. But that isn't the only reason I relate so much to Cath, our main protagonist. She's an introvert who finds solace and comfort in fictional characters. She loves writing with all of her heart, but questions herself constantly if it's truly the thing she's meant to be doing. She was an awkward college freshman leaving home for the first time and assigned to a random roommate, one she didn't know if she would end up liking or not.
I mean, Rainbow Rowell might as well have been following me discreetly for inspiration.
I know a lot of people say that they relate to Cath, but I see so much of myself in her. She's quirky and innocent and a little selfish and a little more than a little bitchy. She's flawed in all the right ways. Her anxiety chews at her like moths do to clothing...a little piece at a time so that you don't see the problem until it's too late.
My own personal experiences with my first year at college were pretty similar to Cath's. No, I don't have a twin sister, and sadly I didn't end up finding an awesome significant other who always encouraged me to keep going and to not give up. I was placed in random housing with someone I only knew the first name of. I stayed in my room most of the times because I didn't want to go out to parties or group hangouts. I kept myself busy by writing my fanfic. I would hole up on my bed for hours in fuzzy pajamas and my blanket over my head, and I'd be furiously typing on my laptop. My roommate would come home drunk and ask, "Have you been sitting there the whole time?"
Now, I wasn't a total recluse. I joined a sorority right away, and I love each and every one of my sisters so dearly. I joined the astronomy club and the archery team. I would have movie marathons with friends from my Fiction-Writing class (yes, I had a Fiction-Writing class. And I loved it. More on that later). But after a few hours of interacting with people and being in public, my anxiety would creep back in and remind me that I would have to sleep an extra four hours to regain my energy, and you need to leave soon otherwise you're going to cry or you're going to scream and these people will never want to hang out with you again.
Anxiety is a monster. And a raging bitch.
Writing fic helped tone the monster down, or at least subdue it for a while. My fanfiction was my escape from the real world. Online, I'm more than just a username. I'm a friend and a mentor and a "hero" (a fan commented that on one of my chapters and it was probably the most blush-inducing comment I have ever received). People beg for my writing and ask if I can insert another original character into my stories that are modeled after them.
I don't say any of this to brag. I'm saying this because this is exactly how Cath feels in Fangirl. SHe can almost be someone entirely new when she's Magicath instead of Cather Avery.
However I knew that I couldn't stay in my fanfic world forever, and so did Cath. We both slowly began to break away from it. Our readers noticed. We would post updates saying things like sorry I'm MIA guys, college is kicking my ass right now. I'll let you know when I get the next chapter up. For Cath, she followed through. I, unfortunately, did not.
It's been over a year since I have published another chapter in my latest fic.
*SPOILERS BEGIN NOW IN CASE YOU DIDN'T SEE THE FIRST WARNING*
I liked a lot of things in Fangirl, and I disliked a lot of things as well. We'll start with my praise, which is how my Fiction-Writing professor always taught me.
First, the representation! Mental health, sexuality, POC characters in the middle of freaking Nebraska...all of it was amazing! I could be nitpicky and say things like "there could have been more diversity shown at the school," or "there were only token LGBT characters," but honestly, screw that. We got diversity shown in it's purest sense: normalcy. Who really pays attention to how many POC were at school? I don't know about you guys, but when I'm walking to my next class on campus, I don't watch every single person who walks by me to see if they're white or Latinx or Native American. They're just people. Cath only mentions a few people by name, and those are the only important ones in this narrative. I would've been so frustrated if every few sentences there was a mention of race or sexuality, because that's just not how people think.
I think my biggest woohoo moment was when Cath made it known to us that her father struggled with his mental health as well (it was never totally clear on what exactly his affliction was, but I think it was bipolar disorder?). You hardly ever see YA (or New Adult) contemporary that focuses on adult mental health. I count count how many stories that deal with it on one hand. It's just not seen. But so many adults struggle with mental illness and mood/personality disorders and don't even know it because they never see representation for them. Four for you, Fangirl. You go, Fangirl.
My next big thing was actually pretty small in comparison to my first one. On page 272 (the hardcover, for reference), Cath and Levi were slowly starting to get back to where they were before winter break, and Levi asks Cath to come over to him on her bed. She replies with, "I'm not ready for c'mere." Guys. This. THIS. I cannot tell you how happy this made me. Consent is everything! And what's even better is that Levi didn't push afterwards. He didn't ignore her words. He made it clear that he wasn't trying to get with her. A lot of little things in Cath and Levi's relationship made me happy. There were a lot of feel-cute moments. Like when he rubs the tops of her ears to warm them up during their tour of East Campus. Or when Levi compares her to "a happy starfish" when she and Wren made up. A happy starfish might just be my new favorite thing.
Okay, I've squealed on long enough about the good things and this post is already super long, but I want to get to my criticisms.
My first and biggest: Nick.
I liked his character at first. He seemed nice enough and it looked to me like Cath was going to be able to have a healthy girl-boy friendship that didn't rely on sex or romantic feelings. But then everything went to shit.
When Nick told Cath that he'd be turning in their story to Professor Piper as his own, I was livid. Mostly because I had a similar situation happen to me in high school, where I was collaborating with a friend over Google Docs on a story and she ended up submitting it to a writing contest as her own original work, when there was just as much me in there as her. But then, Nick had to go and have the audacity to ask her to co-claim the piece so that he could win a fancy prize. And that's after he completely disappears from the book (aka, Cath's life). He shows up in the last twenty pages like "Hey I know I screwed you over before ditching you for four months but could you do me a favor and tell everyone that I didn't really screw you over so I can win an award?" And then he got...weirdly aggressive? Like, I definitely wasn't expecting that. It seemed so out of character, not that we got a whole lot of character information about him in the first place.
Another thing I wasn't thrilled about was Professor Piper's reaction to Cath's fanfiction. We all know that fanfiction isn't plagiarism. Most (if not all) fanfic writers state very clearly at the beginning of their stories (and, in my case, at the end of every chapter) that the characters belong to the original authors and the only thing that could claim as their own were their OCs and whatever individual plotlines they follow. So why was Piper treating fanfic like it was a wad of gum stuck on her boot? And the fact that she tried to stop Cath from writing any more fanfiction EVEN THOUGH THAT WAS WHAT MADE HER HAPPY okay I'll stop now.
My point is, there was a much better way to handle that. I'm not agreeing with Cath's idiocy of turning in fanfiction for an actual college assignment and grade (like, come on sis. You cannot be that stupid). But from personal experience of sharing my fanfic with published authors (not the authors of the work I am writing the fic on), they are not that uptight about it.
In my opinion, the ending was the best part. Cath had mentioned earlier that the best revenge was a life well lived. And she certainly did get her best revenge when her story for Fiction-Writing won the award that Nick was vying for the whole time.
Overall, 3.5 out of 5 stars. Even though that's not a super high rating, Fangirl will go down as one of my favorite YA contemporaries of all time.
*WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD*
I'm going to be honest with you guys. I'm a fanfic writer. I love my fanfiction. And I consider myself very good at it. So I knew that I would like at least some of Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell.
I had first heard about this book through BookTube. So many people were talking about it. I knew that I had to give it a try, especially when I caved and bought Carry On during my last Barnes&Noble run. I knew that the two books were technically independent from each other, but I also knew that I would understand the Simon Snow universe a whole lot more if I read the book that inspired it first.
So I picked up Fangirl at 2:30 pm on this fine Monday. It was a bit of a whim, because I had just finished The Dream Thieves by Maggie Stiefvater, but I didn't really want to jump straight into Blue Lily, Lily Blue. And none of the other books on my massive TBR for this month sounded particularly interesting to me. I wanted mush. I wanted real. I wanted Fangirl.
And, wow.
I finished it in seven hours.
Like I said, I'm a fellow fanfiction writer. I completely understand how it can consume your life. But that isn't the only reason I relate so much to Cath, our main protagonist. She's an introvert who finds solace and comfort in fictional characters. She loves writing with all of her heart, but questions herself constantly if it's truly the thing she's meant to be doing. She was an awkward college freshman leaving home for the first time and assigned to a random roommate, one she didn't know if she would end up liking or not.
I mean, Rainbow Rowell might as well have been following me discreetly for inspiration.
I know a lot of people say that they relate to Cath, but I see so much of myself in her. She's quirky and innocent and a little selfish and a little more than a little bitchy. She's flawed in all the right ways. Her anxiety chews at her like moths do to clothing...a little piece at a time so that you don't see the problem until it's too late.
My own personal experiences with my first year at college were pretty similar to Cath's. No, I don't have a twin sister, and sadly I didn't end up finding an awesome significant other who always encouraged me to keep going and to not give up. I was placed in random housing with someone I only knew the first name of. I stayed in my room most of the times because I didn't want to go out to parties or group hangouts. I kept myself busy by writing my fanfic. I would hole up on my bed for hours in fuzzy pajamas and my blanket over my head, and I'd be furiously typing on my laptop. My roommate would come home drunk and ask, "Have you been sitting there the whole time?"
Now, I wasn't a total recluse. I joined a sorority right away, and I love each and every one of my sisters so dearly. I joined the astronomy club and the archery team. I would have movie marathons with friends from my Fiction-Writing class (yes, I had a Fiction-Writing class. And I loved it. More on that later). But after a few hours of interacting with people and being in public, my anxiety would creep back in and remind me that I would have to sleep an extra four hours to regain my energy, and you need to leave soon otherwise you're going to cry or you're going to scream and these people will never want to hang out with you again.
Anxiety is a monster. And a raging bitch.
Writing fic helped tone the monster down, or at least subdue it for a while. My fanfiction was my escape from the real world. Online, I'm more than just a username. I'm a friend and a mentor and a "hero" (a fan commented that on one of my chapters and it was probably the most blush-inducing comment I have ever received). People beg for my writing and ask if I can insert another original character into my stories that are modeled after them.
I don't say any of this to brag. I'm saying this because this is exactly how Cath feels in Fangirl. SHe can almost be someone entirely new when she's Magicath instead of Cather Avery.
However I knew that I couldn't stay in my fanfic world forever, and so did Cath. We both slowly began to break away from it. Our readers noticed. We would post updates saying things like sorry I'm MIA guys, college is kicking my ass right now. I'll let you know when I get the next chapter up. For Cath, she followed through. I, unfortunately, did not.
It's been over a year since I have published another chapter in my latest fic.
*SPOILERS BEGIN NOW IN CASE YOU DIDN'T SEE THE FIRST WARNING*
I liked a lot of things in Fangirl, and I disliked a lot of things as well. We'll start with my praise, which is how my Fiction-Writing professor always taught me.
First, the representation! Mental health, sexuality, POC characters in the middle of freaking Nebraska...all of it was amazing! I could be nitpicky and say things like "there could have been more diversity shown at the school," or "there were only token LGBT characters," but honestly, screw that. We got diversity shown in it's purest sense: normalcy. Who really pays attention to how many POC were at school? I don't know about you guys, but when I'm walking to my next class on campus, I don't watch every single person who walks by me to see if they're white or Latinx or Native American. They're just people. Cath only mentions a few people by name, and those are the only important ones in this narrative. I would've been so frustrated if every few sentences there was a mention of race or sexuality, because that's just not how people think.
I think my biggest woohoo moment was when Cath made it known to us that her father struggled with his mental health as well (it was never totally clear on what exactly his affliction was, but I think it was bipolar disorder?). You hardly ever see YA (or New Adult) contemporary that focuses on adult mental health. I count count how many stories that deal with it on one hand. It's just not seen. But so many adults struggle with mental illness and mood/personality disorders and don't even know it because they never see representation for them. Four for you, Fangirl. You go, Fangirl.
My next big thing was actually pretty small in comparison to my first one. On page 272 (the hardcover, for reference), Cath and Levi were slowly starting to get back to where they were before winter break, and Levi asks Cath to come over to him on her bed. She replies with, "I'm not ready for c'mere." Guys. This. THIS. I cannot tell you how happy this made me. Consent is everything! And what's even better is that Levi didn't push afterwards. He didn't ignore her words. He made it clear that he wasn't trying to get with her. A lot of little things in Cath and Levi's relationship made me happy. There were a lot of feel-cute moments. Like when he rubs the tops of her ears to warm them up during their tour of East Campus. Or when Levi compares her to "a happy starfish" when she and Wren made up. A happy starfish might just be my new favorite thing.
Okay, I've squealed on long enough about the good things and this post is already super long, but I want to get to my criticisms.
My first and biggest: Nick.
I liked his character at first. He seemed nice enough and it looked to me like Cath was going to be able to have a healthy girl-boy friendship that didn't rely on sex or romantic feelings. But then everything went to shit.
When Nick told Cath that he'd be turning in their story to Professor Piper as his own, I was livid. Mostly because I had a similar situation happen to me in high school, where I was collaborating with a friend over Google Docs on a story and she ended up submitting it to a writing contest as her own original work, when there was just as much me in there as her. But then, Nick had to go and have the audacity to ask her to co-claim the piece so that he could win a fancy prize. And that's after he completely disappears from the book (aka, Cath's life). He shows up in the last twenty pages like "Hey I know I screwed you over before ditching you for four months but could you do me a favor and tell everyone that I didn't really screw you over so I can win an award?" And then he got...weirdly aggressive? Like, I definitely wasn't expecting that. It seemed so out of character, not that we got a whole lot of character information about him in the first place.
Another thing I wasn't thrilled about was Professor Piper's reaction to Cath's fanfiction. We all know that fanfiction isn't plagiarism. Most (if not all) fanfic writers state very clearly at the beginning of their stories (and, in my case, at the end of every chapter) that the characters belong to the original authors and the only thing that could claim as their own were their OCs and whatever individual plotlines they follow. So why was Piper treating fanfic like it was a wad of gum stuck on her boot? And the fact that she tried to stop Cath from writing any more fanfiction EVEN THOUGH THAT WAS WHAT MADE HER HAPPY okay I'll stop now.
My point is, there was a much better way to handle that. I'm not agreeing with Cath's idiocy of turning in fanfiction for an actual college assignment and grade (like, come on sis. You cannot be that stupid). But from personal experience of sharing my fanfic with published authors (not the authors of the work I am writing the fic on), they are not that uptight about it.
In my opinion, the ending was the best part. Cath had mentioned earlier that the best revenge was a life well lived. And she certainly did get her best revenge when her story for Fiction-Writing won the award that Nick was vying for the whole time.
Overall, 3.5 out of 5 stars. Even though that's not a super high rating, Fangirl will go down as one of my favorite YA contemporaries of all time.
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